Pillars of Faith In Our Church Community

Lynn’s Story

Crossing the field

Yesterday I was thinking about some of the things in my life that bother me and that I have no control over. This morning after reading in Nehemiah, an ‘analogy’ came to me:

Picture my house and the field and imagine that Lloyd & I have just gone for a  walk in the woods. It’s late afternoon, it’s winter and it’s snowing. In the woods it’s quiet but when we come to the edge of the field the wind is blowing very hard, it’s getting dark and the only thing we can see is a light way off in the distance. It happens to be the light in my closet which I forgot to shut off (thank God). Got the picture?

We have no choice but to head toward the light. We have to get home. It’s ok for a while - we walk along in the snow, which is about 8”-10” deep. It doesn’t seem like we’re making any progress and I start getting scared and tired. I tell Lloyd, “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t think I can make it.” And he tells me I can. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. “Come on, honey, we’re going to make it. You’ll be alright. When we get to the house, I’ll build a fire…” I believe him and keep going. I’m thinking about the nice warm bath I’m going to take and the hot chocolate, etc.

The field has quite a few little hills and as I was starting to go down one I trip and fall and roll to the bottom. I end up with snow in my face and the neck of my coat and I hurt. Lloyd helps me up but I don’t really want his help. I’m mad now and I’m having a ‘fit’ as I ‘march’ on.

I haven’t been paying much attention to Lloyd but I know he is here beside me. We are together but we each have our own ‘battle’ to fight, our own steps to take. I don’t know why, but he decided to sit down. I tell him that he better get up so we can keep going but he doesn’t. “Oh God, what can I do? He’s too big. I can’t pick him up.” The only choices for me are to stay here and freeze with him, go on by myself and leave him here, or get him moving again. So I yell at him, “GET UP, RIGHT NOW, GET UP, I”M NOT LEAVING YOU HERE!” and I kick him. He looks at me. “Oh God, I didn’t mean to do that. If I get a chance, I’ll tell him I’m sorry.” He looks so angry but he’s getting up! “Thank you, God.” I can’t hear what he’s saying under his breath and that probably a good thing.

We’re making progress. Finally we make it to the ‘swing’ in the yard. I just stand there and cry. Lloyd tells me I can’t quit yet because we can freeze to death 10 feet from home just as easily as I could have 500 feet away. He takes my hand. A few more steps and we’re in the house!!

I am so thankful that we made it. I love him so much! Somehow I feel wiser and my ‘fighting’ spirit is stronger.

Now comes the good stuff!!!

Some of the conclusions I make from this experience are:

First and foremost: Jesus is the Light of the world and if we don’t focus on Him we will lose our way. He is the answer to every problem or circumstance.

Even my weaknesses have a purpose (I left the closet light on, again)

It’s important to have a goal (home, the light) otherwise I’ll end up somewhere I don’t want to be. Success comes one step after another in the right direction.

There’s power in positive thinking

If I try to go through difficult times alone I might not make it. I need companionship and encouragement.

Failing/making mistakes is ok (falling down the hill). It actually got me closer to my goal than walking the steps would have and didn’t take as much energy (failing forward).

Anger can make me useful, sometimes it’s energizing

Some things I have to do on my own. No one can do them for me.

I don’t have the power to make anybody to ‘the right thing’

I can’t always be nice (the yelling and the kick was tough love)

Quitting is not an option!!!

I can be strong and of good courage and DO IT. Whatever it takes. I want something out of this life - I won’t settle for less! My future starts NOW (with this decision).